Tour de France

The fair in Bordeaux

In the wise words of my mother, “just feel”.

I’ve been waiting for a day when my mood was a bit brighter to update my blog as to bring a little more joy to my writing. But here I am, over two weeks later, and not much has changed.

So instead of stressing myself out by thinking what can I do to fix this, I’ve instead been trying to take the above words to heart.

If the man at the pasta stand doesn’t understand that I want a Coca Zero even after having repeated myself three times and I walk away mad, feel mad. If I’m smiling from ear to ear because the elderly French woman at the costume shop and I had a great conversation about her travels in the United States, feel happy. And if the skies are gray in Commercy, the rain keeps pouring, and I still have no one to talk to, I’m slowly learning that it’s okay to feel lonely.

The best thing I’ve found about living in France would have to be the vacation. So amidst all this emotional turmoil I’ve been experiencing, I took advantage of my twelve days of paid time off…

Thus begins, my vrai Tour de France.

Bicycling through Bordeaux

Wine Tasting

Claire and I began our tour in Bordeaux: the wine capital of France. With a city bearing such a title, there was no way we could come and not take a tour of the local vineyards and wineries. Sunday morning, we woke up for a full day’s worth of pressing, fermenting, smelling, and of course tasting. We were accompanied by a nice retired couple from the Aquitaine area who spoke little English, thus making this a tour completely en français. At the end of the eight hours, I left with a tired brain from the abundance of new French and wine vocabulary being thrown at me, but leaving with the thought that if my next plan doesn’t work out, there’s always wine school. The rest of our time spent in this charming city included an evening tour of the city with a local Bordelais and an adventure on bike, checking off one more item in my book of things to do.

Next came the castles. We made the city of Tours our home base and took it from there. We were able to explore three châteaux in two days. Every time I set foot in one of the 500 year old structures, I couldn’t help but be in awe of the work it took to build and to see the beauty still standing today.

Château de Chenonceau

Château de Blois

Château d'Amboise 

On Wednesday, I had a special treat. My dear friend Asha from England, whom I met while working as a nanny in Maine two years ago, made the trek undersea (via the Chunnel) to reunite our friendship. It’s crazy to think we’ve only been together three times: first the United States, then England when I visited her in 2009, and now in France. Yet we never seize to have a great time. We took the next day and half to tour the big sites in the city of love. Following, we headed back to my neck of the woods. We took in a local restaurant of Commercy, saw a French circus, visited the “big city” of Nancy, and I was even able to show off the pride of my town, the madeleine. It was great to have a partner with whom I could discover new things throughout my area.

Asha and Bre in Paris

Halloween morning Asha and I headed back to Paris where we said our goodbyes, and I once again was reconnected with Claire. The two of us then hopped another train heading west, to our first French city, Caen. We celebrated the very American holiday with all our old friends in all our old spots. It was great to reminisce, but it was just a gentle reminder that you can never recreate the past. New memories were made, but the old will always have a special place in my heart.

Bre and Claire in Caen

And here is where my tour ends. There is, of course, much more that could be said. But living in a place where I so often don’t have the right words, has made me really take a moment to step back. Do I always need to say what comes to mind? When I find myself stuck on not knowing how to say something in French or missing the moment to add in my tidbit because the conversation has already moved on by the time I understand, I wonder if my words would have mattered anyway. So instead, I’m listening more and talking less. And when I'm completely lost, I'll tell myself, "just feel".